


What School Taught Me

by KatG



Category: Original Work
Genre: Forever Salty About It, Rambling, Rant, References to Depression, References to attempted suicide, Salty, School, Suicidal Thoughts, idk why i'm tagging, personal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-08
Updated: 2019-10-08
Packaged: 2020-11-28 00:04:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20957156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KatG/pseuds/KatG
Summary: All the most important lessons that the Herman-Norcross Community School taught me.While I'm name dropping the school, FUCK YOU DICK BLEICHNER!!!AKA why I'm still salty about school even after five years.





	What School Taught Me

1st grade taught me that even the best of friends will leave you. Of course it wasn’t their fault that they moved, but still, a part of me went with them that I’ve yet to recover. 

With 2nd grade came butterflies taking up residence in my gut. I wanted nothing more than to talk to her, to sit with, to get the chance to know her. But the two of you wouldn’t let me. Exclusion was a hard lesson for me to learn, but you two taught it so well that I haven’t forgotten.

In 3rd grade, he told me he hates me, and I didn’t understand why. With no one to turn to I pushed it all down like swallowing a rock. It was one rock after another until the heaviness took over me and I decided he was right. I hated me too.

4th grade came with anger that I had yet to understand. Hot tears spilling down as I walked home from school, praying to any God that would listen to never have to go back. Exclusion, bitter words, the harsh reality that even my closest friends only kept me around because they were bored. I wonder if you know I still get nightmares of you. It’s been so long I wonder if you even remember what you did.

5th grade taught me that silence is the best defence. They can’t hurt you if you shut yourself out first. If I was going to be alone, it might as well be on my terms.

6th grade taught me that I won’t ever be good enough. It taught me that you can try the hardest, be the best, but it doesn't matter at all. I was always just there in the background. I can’t shake that still.

7th grade was like drowning in a pool while the lifeguard sat at the edge of the pool laughing. My writing turned dark, a cry for help that turned into a scream. But I was screaming into the wind and it was left unheard. 

8th grade was the cruellest yet. False hope was everywhere and dreams were further crushed. I wanted so badly for it to be done. For it to be over. I wrote a list of your names and I kept it in my pocket. If I ever decided to do it, I wanted you to know who pushed me over the ledge.

9th grade brought me migraines. Head splitting, earth-shattering migraines. A side effect of trying to end it all. I still think back to the only day any of you asked if I was okay. With tears like rain, I told you it was just a headache as if I hadn’t tried again that morning.

10th grade sent me an angel. A literal saving grace. A last-ditch effort at happiness that saved my life, or rather saved me from myself.

In 11th grade, I learned that bullies aren’t just students and that superintendents could get away with anything they wanted. The panic attack you gave me lasted the rest of the day, but somehow I ended up the one in trouble. I wonder if you even cared about what she was doing to me. You had all the proof you needed. But maybe you agreed with her.

By 12th grade, I said fuck it. I stopped caring about what you all thought of me. My life was going to be lived on my terms and I haven’t looked back on that since.

School taught me many things. The lessons that stuck with me, however, had nothing to do with tests or books.

**Author's Note:**

> Shoutout to the dick of a superintendent who sympathized with the bitch who told me to kill myself multiple times a day for months before she finally left the school and then a couple of years later didn't do anything about a 7th grader attempting suicide due to bullying despite a shit ton of people coming to school board meeting in support of that student.  
https://www.hncs.k12.mn.us/


End file.
